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Bird Flu, Schmird Flu


by Delilah Sheraton

Well, it's certainly nice to be back at gou-rou, where one can freely wiggle for the giggle. It's not that I've been tied up, really, it's just that I've gotten tied down. Out of my two month absence from GR, one of those months was been spent gathering more inside breaking reports, while the other was spent voyaging south to Thailand, on an extended nuptial holiday with my new hubby.

Next to Vietnam, over the last two years, Thailand has held a growing fatality rate related to the Avian Bird Flu. Choosing to live dangerously, my better half and I ate several tasty chicken and duck curry dishes without experiencing any symptoms of the H5N1 virus. We've taken this as a good omen for our marriage; we hope it will survive any further diseases or hardships, natural disasters, and any possible biological, chemical or nuclear warfare to come.

At present, there is no vaccine for bird flu. However, there is an effective drug for the treatment of the virus, called Tamiflu. And these days, it is what's hot on the international pharmaceutical market. So move over Viagra. While the upper echelon of elite countries have ready stockpiles of the antiviral drug, typically, many developing nations are without such resources. (Which is like, come on people, get with the times, like totally. What laggers!)

According to several international health investigators, China is a country at high risk for a human pandemic of bird flu. Experts say this is due to the PRCís population density and human-poultry proximity ratio, not to mention the prevalent lack of sanitation practices and penchant for eating weird stuff. As it follows, the state has taken great measures to ensure the nation's protection and safety from the virus.

Still, as the holiday season approaches, many Americans like myself, that are living in China, ponder whether or not it's safe to bake a turkey this Thanksgiving, while others wonder if they'll be quarantined for Christmas. Yet, as it's been declared, Avian Bird Flu will certainly not become another case of SARS for China. In addition to issuing statements of accountability to the World Health Organization, the CCP has distributed disinfectant and allocated necessary funds to provincial governments at risk, assuring the media that there is nothing to worry or write about. End of story.