Office Apparel: the trashier the better
by Joy la Joie
If you're looking for that competitive edge to win you over in your next office interview, you can forget the usual CV boosting components like HTML skills or fluency in English. While many companies in China are seeking a professional image to match the quality of their services and products, most realize the fact of the matter: sex sells. And furthermore, it doesn't hurt to have a saucy vixen to assist you through the long hours of the workday, to wait on your every need, dangle at your every command, and to look pretty at your side during a meal with clients.
Above: Secretary Lin, "Office Slut of the Year 2005", texting a message to her laoban
Everyone knows that a man isn't truly successful until he's attained his own personal lihai fantasy-slut secretary. But what many people don't realize is what a challenging and lucrative career this makes for all those ambitious whores out there. Office sluts are paid big kuai! In addition to living a jet-set, all meals included, expense account, glitzy, glamorous life, the all-star office wench attains personal achievement and satisfaction through the passion and gainful lives of others.
While in the past this has mostly been a position for women, recently men too have achieved an acceptable profile in mastering the art of clerical hookerdom. Really, it's all about having the right look. The rules generally apply the same for both sexes: tight tailored shirts for both women and men are a must, with at least 2 to three top buttons undone, whitened teeth, firm buttocks, syringe heels for the ladies and polished Pradas for the gents, and basically you're good to go. Grab your office diary and prepare to kiss and coddle.
To realize your own harlot ambitions, start by putting together your ensemble for the interview. Look for the bawdy threads that will make you stand out from the rest of the whores out there, and make sure to put the P back into professional. Try checking out the market stalls at Ya Show (Gongti Bei Lu) or Lily's Boutique for the Working Girl (at Jianwai Soho) to help you stay ahead, get ahead, or give...erm...all you've got...in today's marketplace.