Fashion Dilemmas
by Joy la Joie
As of late I've been flooded with style inquiries for the coming season. For the benefit of all our lovely readers' efforts to stay lovely, I will share my responses here.
Dear Joy,
I just read that hair dye could be linked to cancer. Is this true? I've been highlighting my hair for years now and I'm afraid I might die. But I prefer my look as a blonde. It's almost summer now, and it's too hot to wear a wig. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Wigged-out
Dear Wiggy,
Just living in Beijing alone will cause cancer. So I don't know why you're suddenly worried about the threat of it now. But if new non-toxic locks are what you truly seek, I suggest shaving your head. As you mentioned, it is almost summer, so why not go for a low-maintenance, literally and theoretically cool new hairstyle. As for being a blonde, it is true that they have more fun, but that is just so cliché and retro. And not in a good way.
Love,
Joy
Dear Joy,
My boyfriend's underwear is really a turn-off. He wears these speedo-like panties that make him look like a flaming cabana boy. I've tried buying him boxer shorts, and even boxer briefs as a compromise, but he won't wear them. What should I do?
Yours Truly,
Tightie-whitie Turned-off Tammy
Dear TTT,
Relationships are not my forte, but fortunately for you, fashion is. What I recommend in your case is going through your boyfriend's underwear drawer when he's at work and setting his panties aflame for good. This will force him to wear your gifts or he'll just have to go commando.
Love,
Joy
Dear Joy,
Now that the weather is warm, I want to wear open-toed shoes without socks. However, all of my colleagues at work says I should wear translucent nylon stockings to protect my shoes and keep my feet comfortable. But I know this is a bad fashion. What should I do?
Your Friend,
Open Toed Zhu
Dear Zhu,
When it comes to comfort and fashion, of course we always want the best of both worlds. But sometimes, that's not possible. However, in this case, your problem is of your own making. In reality, wearing your nylon stockings would create more of a discomfort to you and those around you. After a long day of hiking around the city in the high humidity, your feet are going to sweat and your stockings will stifle the smelly juices, marinating your footsies like a dead pot roast. Any podiatrist would retch at the sight of this fashion footwear crime beheld in Beijing on your average summer's day. Trust your style gut and do the right thing.
Love,
Joy