Famous People Are So Cool
by Solomon West
With Beijing fast becoming the place to be, celebrity endorsements have been flying in like birds that have got into your living room through an open window. So what's all this flapping about?
Multiple award-winning songstress and daughter of Indian maestro Ravi Shankar, Norah Jones, had this to say on her recent performance in the city: "The pollution wasn't as bad as I thought it might be". She's not the only star raving about the wonders of Beijing.
Other celebs waxing lyrical over the city's good points include Lindsay Lohan, Keanu Reeves, TV chef Keith Floyd and British member of parliament for mid-Bedfordshire Jonathan Sayeed.
Lindsay Lohan at the beach. gou-rou.com's intrepid newshounds strike again!
"I've never been there," said Lohan in an interview copied and pasted on the China Daily website from an uncited source. "We're thinking about maybe playing some gigs in Beijing and maybe Tokyo," said Bill & Ted 'actor' Reeves, discussing his band, Dogstar, in an issue of Kerrang magazine in 1997. To date, Dogstar have yet to play Beijing, or any good songs.
"Yes, yes, I'm sure Beijing is very nice, go away," said Conservative party politico Jonathan Sayeed via his press secretary when we badgered him at his office. In June 2001, Jonathan Sayeed voted against a Government motion proposing the removal of Gwyneth Dunwoody from the parliamentary transport committee.
Keanu Reeves - yet to tour China
Furthermore, frequently wine-addled gastronaut Keith Floyd has never once mentioned Beijing in a negative light, which can only be taken as a tacit endorsement. In short, all famous people really yearn to be in Beijing, thus validating people such as ourselves who choose to live here, which is in no way a result of our being unemployable elsewhere.