Welcome once again to the world of gou-rou.com. This month we're casting a critical eye over everything of any importance that's happened that we heard about and then took as the subject of articles that we wrote. We had hoped to host a guest contribution from Time Out Beijing columnist Johannes Neubacher, but sadly things didn't pan out as planned. Johannes was unable to make it to the meeting, as he got stuck in a long, rambling, unpunctuated sentence.
As the eyes of Learjet owners worldwide turn towards Beijing, we were pleased to see that CNN has decided to offer some much-needed business advice for those coming to China. We're especially glad that they took the time to do a properly researched article written by knowledgable correspondents rather than basing their research on half-remembered viewings of Karate Kid 2.
Anyone who has lived here for some time will, for example, already be very familiar with the need to keep Confucian values in mind when dealing with business issues. And we can all agree that "[o]ne person should be chosen to speak on behalf of the foreign delegation as the Chinese may be confused by members of the same group contradicting each other." After all, the Chinese need to be treated carefully, much like children, and no other nationality would ever get confused by two or more people talking over one another and saying contradictory things.
We're pretty sure business moguls interested in China are already reading gou-rou.com, so in the interests of serving the business community, here are some more facts about the Chinese we think CNN would have included if they hadn't had to be cut for space reasons:
- They are all very small; think about crouching down when you talk to them
- They all know kung fu
- They enjoy riding bicycles whilst performing the "dragon dance" and setting off firecrackers
- It's considered good luck to declaim "I really like rice!" before every meal
- The Chinese are skittish and easily panicked - try not to make any sudden moves or wave guns around in meetings
Well, that's sufficient help for now. Dig in to the rest of our Beijing pudding until you've had enough!
Love and hugs,
gou-rou.com editor in chief
Send your articles to email@example.com.