by Angel Chu
Wow! Wow wow wow! Have I been hanging out in a rare atmosphere lately! Yes, I have. Why, only three days ago, I was invited to a lavish party full of shuai ges and glamorous mademoiselles at the home of a top car manufacturing honcho. The place was spectacular - it reminded me a lot of the villa in that film where Ray Winstone is living in Spain and then Gandhi comes to visit him and wees on his floor.
Naturally, I was decked out in a chic summery-but-smart outfit. Paler cream is always offset so nicely by pale pink, I always say. Though I did have a bit of a panic earlier that evening when I realised the skirt I wanted to wear was still at the cleaner's! I dashed down there just in time to get ready... I couldn't face going in anything less than that trim Nautica number.
Kitty and Ophelia, her younger sister, were there. I'm not sure I like Ophelia that much, you know. She's perfectly pleasant at lunch or whatever, but give her a few drinks and she gets these... airs. We'd only been talking for a few minutes before she started showing off. I'd introduced the subject of ladies' sanitary products and no sooner had I done so than she proceeded to pooh-pooh my choice of feminie hygiene paraphenalia and starting banging on about some "Tampax Platinum" she uses. I wish she'd shove one in her mouth, quite frankly.
Kitty had just got back from holiday in Austria. She'd had a good time but had been disappointed not to go to the places in "The Sound of Music". She said that everyone there seemed to prefer speaking English to German, and she and her friends had fed kangaroos and wombats at the zoo.
Anyway, back to the matter of the party. The centrepiece of the whole thing was a marvellous animal show and son et lumiere in the garden of the house. The host, it seems, was something of a wizard with radio devices and timed explosives. How we laughed as a flock of doves fluttered away with green, red and gold sparklers in a flourish atop their heads! How we thrilled as the host's cat was fired in a graceful arc by means of a small rocket over the pond, gently falling to earth as a tiny parachute deployed at the top of its flight! How we applauded as kilos of explosives were used to remotely detonate a baby antelope, spattering the foremost guests with blood and fragments of bone!
I'm almost giddy just thinking about it now. Nearly as giddy as that night, when one of the older executive types who'd had his eye on me gave me a drink into which he'd laughingly pretended to slip some kind of drug. I played along of course, and pretended not to notice. What a time I think I had.