Hallowe'en Costume Ideas
by Joy la Joie
Hallowe'en is almost here which means you can take your pick as to which raging costume party you will attend in the city. That part is easy. The difficulty is in deciding what to wear. For all you crazy girls and ghouls out there without a clue, here are a few ideas to help you win that prize at the ball of your choosing:
The Hot China Man
Items needed:
Crew-collared, off-white T-shirt and straight-leg, dark coloured pinstripe slacks.
Instructions:
Soak T-shirt in baijiu and garlic shavings for 2 days prior to wear. After putting on the well-marinated T-shirt, roll the bottom half up to your chest so that your belly is fully exposed (note: this costume especially works for those with a gut). Roll one leg of the slacks up to the knee. Wear black socks pulled to mid-calf. Voila! There's your costume.
The Street-Walking Pajama Zombie
Items needed:
Two-piece pajama set with ridiculous animal and/or cartoon pattern, preferably with teddy bears or Teletubbies. Plastic or rubber slippers.
Instructions:
Simply wear your pajama set and slippers and just rumple your hair a bit. Keep an aimless and confused expression on your face, with your lower jaw always slightly ajar. Drool as much as possible. Make sure to lift your feet from the ground as little as possible and walk at a pace no faster than 1 metre per minute. Try to get in front of as many bicycles as possible and people that seem to be in a hurry.
The Mutilated Cyclist
Items needed:
Black shoe polish, ketchup or fake blood, bicycle basket and axle chain.
Instructions:
First, muddy your shoes in black shoe polish and take an old shirt and walk all over it until several footprints are visible. Add ketchup or fake blood stains and put on the shirt. Find a pair of old jeans and open a large gapping hole at one knee. Then add ketchup or fake blood stains onto your knee, making sure to let a little drip onto the jeans for effectiveness. Tie a greasy bike chain around your waist as a belt, or drape it around your neck. Wear a bicycle basket on your head, in the fashion of either a hat or helmet, and there you go.
The Underage Security Attendant
Items needed:
Extra large sized security guard uniform with hat and black shoes with laces.
Instructions:
Note that for this costume it is essential that your security guard uniform and hat are at least twice as big as your normal size. When wearing the uniform, you should appear somewhat shrunken, and the hat should make your head look about pea-size. Your shoe laces should always remained untied, and you should occasionally stumble and trip over them in an awkward marching stride.
The Xiao Jie Drag Queen
Items needed:
Red qipao, fake fingernails, red lipstick, black eyeliner.
Instructions:
Gentlemen, put on the dress, fingernails, apply make-up, and presto! Ask everyone you meet if they "like a massaji?" Always a hit.