The TV Page - China Space Special
THAT TV SCHEDULE IN FULL:
06:00 - News Report Special
A special news report featuring half an hour non-stop coverage of the Shenzhou 6 space launch. Two presenters with laptops sit in front of a looping video showing the two astronauts sitting bored in the ship and eating in their weightless environment.
06:30 - In-depth Analysis of the 06:00am News Report Special
A one hour look at the effect the launch has had on the whole country - especially the ethnic minorities in the border regions. (followed at 7:27 by a special Music video featuring images of the launch cut with scenes of China's modernisation, including some road intersections, some tall buildings, and a lot of flags)
07:30 - An update on the progress of the Shenzhou 6 mission.
Despite not actually telling us anything, there will be numerous reaction interviews with completely unprepared people on the streets, most of whom will somehow mention economic development, the mother-land, or a combination of the two.
09:00 - Live Press conference from Mission Control
Three spokesmen will describe what is happening in the same footage featured on the 06:00 News Report Special. Journalists will have the opportunity to ask positive questions about the mission.
11:00 - Live broadcast of astronauts' children talking proudly to their fathers from mission control. Also wives. Tearful people shown listening in. (Followed by montage featuring footage of launch, and hastily animated CG showing the craft in orbit)
12:15 - Interviews from around China.
Members of the impoverished public will describe how proud they are at the Shenzhou 6 mission. An insert in the bottom right corner will show the footage from 09:00 on repeat.
13:30 - News Report Special
A special news report featuring half an hour non-stop coverage of the Shenzhou 6 space launch. Two presenters with laptops sit in front of a looping video showing the two astronauts sitting bored in the ship and eating in their weightless environment. Ooo! Weightless food look!
14:45 - Fashion Show
Featuring space-inspired designs (all of which will have a National Flag on them somewhere)
16:00 - Live Update (pre-recorded)
18:00 - Reaction from Tibet
Tibetan people hold a festival to celebrate the Shenzhou 6 launch.
20:00 - Special Gala show.
Massive plastic cut-outs of spaceships provide a spectacular backdrop to a host of singers performing songs featuring the word fei. Host who looks and dresses like a 19th Century vampire introduces all the fun.
22:00 - Repeat of 18:00 Reaction from Tibet
23:30 - Dashan introduces his three favourite scenes from Lost in Space and Land of the Giants.
23:57 - National Weather, described by the astronauts as they pass over China again.
NB: All shows will feature frequent adverts by companies who have rushed out space-launch-oriented patriotic adverts about their milk, engine oil, brain medicine etc.